Pieces of Me

Six weeks later, I got my results.  As I scanned through the paternal matches, not a single Loewenstine.  Many names I didn’t recognize but my grandma had 11 siblings I was sure these were her sisters kids and grandkids.  I didn’t care about them. I already knew so much about the Stevens family and I wasn’t looking for more Stevens family information.  It was the Loewenstine’s I wanted more information about.  Why weren’t there any Loewenstine matches? Was it against the Jewish faith to do DNA testing? I am sure in time, someone will test and I will have a match. I checked that DNA monthly and nothing. After about a year, I decided to suspend my ancestry account for a while. Other than checking the DNA matches, which without Loewenstine matches I wasn’t even looking at, I wasn’t even using it. 

In the fall 2022, we found out we were moving so I needed to really focus on getting my house ready to sell, selling it and relocating.  Eight months later we got moved and I found myself working from home and focused on my new home and surroundings. I hadn’t even given the DNA a second thought.  It’s strange for the first time in many years, ancestry wasn’t even a thought. 

In February 2025, I had a very vivid dream; a spiritual experience.  I am not sure who came to me, but someone (not visible) came to me and very clearly said “you need to review the DNA, your dad is not your biological father”.  When I woke up, I was rattled.  The experience felt so real and being a spiritual person I had no doubt it was real but I knew that was absurd.  My parents have been married for 60 years and were high school sweethearts. It nagged at me all day; I just couldn’t shake the feeling of how real the message was and wonder who would bring me that crazy message.  When my husband, Andy, came home I told him “you’re going to think I am absolutely crazy… but this was my dream and I can’t shake it. I am going to reactivate my ancestry membership, match the Stevens’ to the DNA and be done with this crazy dream!”  He agreed it was ridiculous and I was kind of crazy but supported whatever I needed to do, while chuckling.

The next day, I logged back into ancestry and began weeding through the parental matches; 3473 paternal matches to be exact.  I started mapping out the second cousins and first cousin one time removed matches….nothing.  Not a single name I recognized.  Sure this was all because they were all from my grandma’s sisters they wouldn’t have the last name Stevens.  I used the leads method to start building it out. The more I mapped out the more I came to realize no one matched the Stevens family (or the Loewenstine for that matter). Partially in denial to admit what my gut knew….I went online and recruited the help of a DNA Search Angel.  At 4:30 pm on February 14, 2025, I gave her access to my ancestry, uploaded my DNA into 3 other sites by her instruction and gave her access to those and then, I waited.  I will never forget getting the message at 10:49 pm that same day that said “Your biological father is one of the three sons of Constantine and Hulda Weber”.  I wanted to vomit.  Was I being punked? Where’s Ashton Kutcher?  I sat there a few minutes in shock and then I began to sob. I sobbed alone in my bed for a couple hours in total shock.  I said out loud “How is this even real? Please God, tell me this is not real”.