Category: Uncategorized
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It’s the little things that seem to trigger an emotion. Never makes any sense. Last week my mom sent me a picture of my dad working. It was post retirement when he was doing consulting work for Pittsburgh. It’s a great photo. Today I happened to look at that picture and started crying. My amazing…
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Last weekend I had to go visit my mom for her birthday. I was not looking forward to it. I never feel good about visiting her. I am still angry, really angry. But I am working through that and trying to move forward. Being angry won’t change what is. We will never have the relationship…
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The roller coaster of emotions is exhausting. Some days I am ok with it all, some days I’m an emotional wreck and some days I’m angry. I am still so broken for my little daddy. He didn’t and does not deserve any of this. He may not have been a great husband, but he was…
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How do you trust anyone? As I am navigating this entirely fucked up situation, I am realizing you can’t trust anyone. As I mentioned in a prior blog, Andy told his dad. I was really upset at first. I have never really had a good relationship with them and the fact they now had this…
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Mothers day was hard; not quite as hard as the first one after my discovery, but nevertheless, it was hard. How do you wish someone a happy mothers day when you are so angry. After you have matured enough to realize what a shit parent you had and shitty childhood. How she manipulated you. But,…
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I always considered myself as being really close to my mom. It wasn’t until this whole NPE experience I really took time to look back on my relationship with her and my life. When looking back I realize so much as an adult that I didn’t see as a child and wasn’t able to see…
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This past weekend my brother was admitted to the ICU for kidney failure. I’ve always been close to my older brother. He was the first person I told about Dennis (other than my husband). It’s been really difficult thinking we would lose him. Sitting hours in that family waiting room surrounded by family, MY FAMILY,…
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Lack of communication from my BF has been disheartening but the conflicting nature of his communication is very confusing. I guess he’s processing but not sure what to make of it all. Here is the communication from him since I received his first email on 4/8/25 4/8/25 – “Dawn, I recently received your letter and…
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I am still struggling with having a biological father that I have no idea who he is. What is he like? What are his likes/dislikes? Is he nice or a jerk? Is he tall or short? What is his hair like? Is it dark, light, curly, straight?? Does he have blue or brown eyes? Is…
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February 14, 2026 was the one year anniversary of my NPE discovery. It seems like I am still on this incredibly difficult roller coaster. It still consumes me; all my thoughts, my dreams, all the time, every day. I hate that. On good days I swear that I am going to let go of the…
